Ron Carner, May 19, 1939--June 3, 2025
I responded, “You won’t be able to tell me what to do.”
How could I have imagined the day I would be eulogizing you, a giant of a man, one who lived large and savored every moment of life with hunger for more? Ron was—is—a man who opened his eyes in the morning and thought that the sky had never been this blue, the birds had never chirped so beautifully, and there had never been a more beautiful woman to be found by a man’s side.
It took tremendous energy to keep up with Ron’s pace of hopping on a plane to London to catch a couple of shows, and two days later start a skiing day on top of a Vermont mountain at minus fifty wind chill factor. Until his mid-seventies, there wasn’t a mountain Ron didn’t want to climb or a river he didn’t plan to raft down its white waters.
Did I mention Ron’s reverence of balls? There was not one he didn’t love—round, oval, rubber, or covered in cowhide—to throw, hit, bounce, catch, kick, dribble, or pass—or watch others do it.
In the years he practiced law, the charismatic Ron did particularly well with juries. Older jurors viewed him as their son, young ones as a father figure, his contemporary males as the guys’ guy that he was, and the female jurors, oh, well, he was really cute.
Ron grew up in a loving family, where he was pampered by his grandmother who lived with them, and adored by his parents and his brother who was five years older. A good student, a star athlete, and a favorite among both boys and girls, all Ron knew was acceptance and love. Not a single bad thing happened to him until the big one, when Ron was twenty-five, and his father suddenly died.
It was from that river of love that Ron was able to ladle out endless goodness to share—with me, the children, his friends, and the Jewish world.
Today, June 5th, the day of his funeral, the Six-Day War broke in Israel in 1967. Holding his transistor close to his ear for days on end, Ron became aware of how fundamental Israel was to his identity as a Jew.
By the time I met Ron, he held strong Jewish values and was a committed Zionist, which soon found their purpose in his volunteer work for Maccabi USA. A born leader, who loved interacting with young people, Ron went on to devote 38 years influencing not only American Jewish youth, but also those in South and Central America and beyond. To advance women’s participation, it was not enough to just form US-Jewish women’s teams; they needed to compete against other countries. Ron travelled indefatigably to encourage and cajole Maccabi leaderships everywhere to form more women’s teams. Then he went on to expand international participation by developing the Masters’ program. Not surprisingly, the more mature athletes, enthusiastic to participate in their respective sports, helped fund the huge operational cost. Some became major donors when they witnessed the greatest involvement of Jewish youth with Israel and with Diaspora’s members of our tribe.
With every participating athlete came a family and a circle of friends who accompanied them to the Games—and thus reasserted their Jewish roots. Every two years, when Ron walked into the stadium at an opening ceremony of either the Maccabiah or a Regional Game in Europe or South and Central America, he felt triumphant. His greatest rewards were when people told him how the Games changed their lives and brought them back into the fold of Judaism.
When I met Ron in 1978, all this was in the future. What captured my heart was not just that he was funny, romantic, and handsome, but that he was a feminist. He sent me to “a Conscious Raising” group to navigate a world steeped with power imbalance, and then he proceeded to relinquish some of his own power in order to have a wife who was an equal partner. Cocooned in the comfort of his love, I grew wings and flew to wherever my abilities would take me. Only a secure male could do that.
Above all, Ron’s core was our family—the one he brought to our marriage and the one we created together with mine. From our first lunch in 1978, when Ron and I surprised ourselves by talking about our future together, he forged forward toward that goal: he maintained three homes so we could all be together, shopped, navigated the children’s conflicting schedules, and orchestrated our activities. Ron, our patriarch, was a lifeforce. His delight was to see our four children grow into amazing adults, who are close in the tight unit of the family we created together.
Over the years, many people watched Ron’s awe of the world, his athleticism, and his full, multi-faceted life and said that if there was life after life, they would have liked to come back as Ron Carner.
They didn’t even know that he sang in the shower.
Ronnie, you were right. You cannot be in the past tense. You, your spirit, your generosity, and your moral compass will forever be present in everyone you’ve touched. Especially in me.
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LINKS: Please watch Ron live on some of the many videos publicly available:
Ron was very proud to be a recipient of Maccabi's Yakir award for his dedication and enormous contribution to the movement. Here is the link to him being featured as Legend of Maccabi of and another Tribute to him by Maccabi USA.
A great interview on Jewish Broadcasting Corporation (JBC) with Rabbi Mark Golub.
Ron was very proud when he was nominated for James Madison High School's "Wall of Distinction," populated by luminary alumni Nobel Laureates, politicians and Justices. Here is a link to his acceptance speech.
The New York Times obituary
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